Surprised by Brokenness

(Note: This is a reprint the blog post from 2016. Because of the times we are living in today, I feel its importance for believers to understand the role brokenness. I trust this message speaks to your heart.)

“He who has found his life shall lose it, and he who has lost his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matthew 10:39)

Years ago I went through some of the darkest days of my life. What I thought was going to be the greatest and happiest time turned into days and weeks of deep hurt and disappointment.

During the middle of this situation I was an emotional wreck. Matter of fact, my wife was concerned that I might be having a nervous breakdown. Like Jacob in the scripture, I was wrestling with God. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me. I had done nothing wrong to merit such treatment.

As I continued my argument with God, as to why He was letting this happen, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a sincere prayer that I had prayed months earlier. Leading up to this moment, I had been reading a book where the author asked the question “What means more to you than Christ?”. The Holy Spirit captured my attention with this question. It so occupied my thoughts that a few weeks later I preached a sermon around that question. After the sermon I gave an invitation for the congregation to exam their lives. Nearly the whole church responded to the invitation with tears and sincerity.

In the closing prayer I prayed a prayer similar to this; “Dear Lord, show me the things in my life that mean more to me than Christ, and then help me to have the strength and courage to surrender those things so that you may become my life in that area.”

As the Lord brought that prayer to my mind, I continued my argument with God, “Lord what means more to me than Jesus? I had surrendered my life to preach and teach the gospel. I was a faithful witness for Christ and I was doing the best I could serving as a pastor. What could possibly mean more to me than you?”

Then the Holy Spirit pressed my heart with this question? “Why are you such a basket case about your situation?” I responded, “Because I could lose my ministry.” Then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me. my ministry was my life, and I was about to lose the thing that was life to me.

Surprised by Brokenness

Beginning that day I had a new appreciation for crisis and trouble. I now knew what it meant to come to the end of myself and be broken. I discovered a new fullness of Christ’s life. Jesus desired to be more than my Savior, He wanted to be my very life. In my zeal for ministry I had let the work of the ministry replace Jesus as my life.

In hindsight, even if someone whom I highly respected had pointed out that ministry was my life, I would have denied it. It took being surprised by brokenness to bring me to the end of myself so that the Holy Spirit could reveal how I had slowly, but intentionally, allowed ministry to replace the Lordship of Christ, and the fullness of the Spirit.

Brokenness is your best friend
What I had considered my biggest hurt, had become my greatest blessing. God loved me so much that He allowed me to be deeply hurt. He knew what it would take to bring me to the end of myself. I was in a situation that I couldn’t fix or make better. God opened my eyes to the real need, and that was total surrender and abandonment.

Are you in a struggle with something you can’t change, fix or pray your way out of? Then take note, it could be the Lord attempting to get control of something you are not willing to surrender. The more you worry, the deeper your despair and the greater your self-induced unhappiness.

Can a person make Jesus their life without experiencing brokenness? Yes, it’s possible, but not very probable. Most of the time God uses our circumstances to bring us to the end of ourselves, so that we have no place to go but Him. Have you heard anyone say, “Well things have gotten so bad, all I have left to do is pray.” That’s pretty sad isn’t it? Prayer should be the first thing we do. If you are like me, I haven’t said those words but the way I lived reflected that attitude.

The flesh is a very strong component of our life. It fights every attempt of surrender and utter abandonment. So God in His mercy, and His long-suffering, allows us to get to the point where we can’t change or fix our situation. The only place for us to turn is to Him. We must lay down our rights and our expectations and give God permission to take control. Then acknowledge that whatever He allows to come our way as OK. That’s the work of brokenness, and it’s your best friend.

I often tell people that brokenness is both an event and a process. It becomes an event the first time your realize that brokenness has come to your life in order for Christ to take control. Secondly, brokenness becomes a process when your realize that you will have “little brokennesses” all along the way in your walk with God. These events will be reminders that there is an area of your life where God is not in control. This becomes your cue to identify and surrender, in order that Christ might become life in that area of your life.

Bottom Line
At the turn of the last century, missionary statesman Watchman Nee wrote a book entitled
The Normal Christian Life. In the book he teaches the principle that brokenness and surrender is the normal Christian life. In other words, brokenness and surrender are to be a normal part of our walk with God.

God’s intention for us is to live in complete surrender of every aspect of our life. Do you have the courage to ask the Lord if there is something in your life that you haven’t been willing to give up control to Him?

Remember this principle: God seldom takes anything away from us that He does not replace with something better. That’s because when you are in God’s will you are in God’s hand.

Spiritual Awakening

A “Spiritual Awakening”  is a term used to describe a movement that causes the local church to regain its zeal for the Lord. It results in a repentance from sin, a renewed love for God, a love for those who do not know God and, an intense desire for personal holiness.

It’s an awakening that changes the believer from someone who is a passive believer to a radical follower of Jesus. When the church is revived with a renewed love for God, then our country and our society will be changed.

If you are a passionate follower of Jesus you will agree that America is at a critical crossroads.  Never in my lifetime has the old saying “As the church goes, so goes the country”,  been so true as it is today.  We are in desperate need of a spiritual awakening.  The church has lost its way. We have lost our desire for personal holiness, our love for our fellow man and our passion to reach our nation and the world with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The book of Romans tells us what happens when a society refuses to acknowledge and follow God.

Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools.

So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! “ (Romans 1 NLT)

Bottom Line

What is the remedy to all of the chaos and unrest we see in our world?  Repentance!   Revival and awakening begins with us. When we are willing to fall to our knees, cry out to God, confess our coldness toward Him, and give Him first place in our life, then He will hear us and heal our spiritual sickness and heal our land.

The culture must no longer be our moral compass, Our moral compass has to be rooted in the truth of God’s Word.  Our day to day guidance must be led by the Holy Spirit of God. The Scripture teaches us , “In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will direct you path. (Proverbs 3:6 KJV)

What is you spiritual temperature? Can the world tell that there is something different about you?  Do they since the love of Jesus in you?  Would you describe yourself as a “Passionate Follower of Jesus”?

What advice would you give your 18 year self?

This is graduation season. Thousands are graduating from high school. Some will be going to the next level of education and some into the full time work force.  As they will soon discover, life is full of surprises and challenges that they have not anticipated. When we look back at our life in retrospect we all have some things that we would do different.  As the old saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.

I have been thinking, now that I am in my twilight years, if I could go back to my 18 year old self and give him some advice what would I tell him?  Or what if  I could speak to an audience of 18 year old high school graduates, what advice would I give them? Three things come to my mind as I anticipate this conversation.

Make sure of your salvation –  If you ask the average religious person on the street, “If you died tonight are your sure that you would go to heaven?” They would probably say I am not sure, or I hope so, or no I am not sure.  This is the most important aspect of life to settle. The scripture tells us in 1 John 5:13,  I have written this to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know you have eternal life.”  Salvation that Jesus gives us is a “know so” salvation.  When we trust in the finished work of Jesus on the cross for our sin, and put our trust in Him for our salvation, He gives us eternal life. (John 3:16)

Why is it important to settle our salvation?  It gives us inner peace and assurance that heaven is our home.  Also, at salvation we get Jesus in us, changing and conforming us to His image.  It gives us confidence that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  We now have a “belongingness and an identity.”  We are a child of God that is positionally “seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” We are now on a spiritual journey, not trying to work our way to heaven, but moving toward spiritual maturity that allows us to be salt and light to the world. 

Set your moral compass –  There are many voices that are clamoring for your attention.  If you don’t set your moral compass early on, then the many voices around you will determine your direction.  There are two primary models of moral compasses, the moral compass of culture and the moral compass of the Bible.  Your level of peace, contentment, satisfaction, happiness and inner joy is directly related to which moral compass you follow. If you follow the cultural model your moral compass will change as the culture changes.  Your morality will reflect the movement and trends of the culture.  You will have no moral absolutes because when the trends of culture change so will you.

But if your moral compass is based on a biblical model then your morality is driven by truth. You have a set of absolutes that guide your life.  These absolutes are given by the wisdom of God. He gave us these moral principles based on His foreknowledge.  He knows what happens to humans when they reject the moral absolutes of scripture. 

Having moral absolutes takes a lot of pressure off trying to conform to cultural demands.  Your moral compass will always guide you in the right direction.  The moral compass also includes the indwelling life of Christ and the Holy Spirit to guide you in all your decisions.

Let go of your life –  The most important command of Scripture is to “love the Lord God with all your heart, mind and soul.”  In other words, live life in a state of full surrender and abandonment to the will of God.  Happiness is always found when you are willing to surrender all your dreams and plans to the Lord.  Does that mean that you don’t plan for your future and work toward success in your profession?  No, it just means as you plan and dream ask the Lord to guide in the direction that pleases Him and fulfills His will for your life.

This is where having a correct moral compass comes into play.  Instead of trying to keep up with the trends of culture, you are able to avoid the mental struggle of being like everyone else.  You realize that God loves you and has made you unique to the whole world. He has a plan for your life that will suit your natural gifting and that will bring joy, happiness and inner peace to your heart. That can only happen if you are willing to let go of your life and trust God with your future.

Bottom Line

There are things in life that happen that we can’t explain or change… that’s just life.  But there are many things in life that we can prevent or change if we had the proper tools to make those decisions  

When you are sure of your salvation it gives you the boldness to believe that God is always with you to navigate every challenge of life.  When we set our moral compass it gives us confidence that we are not going to throw away our life on the whims of the culture. Because we have a compass, it always points in the right direction.  When we practice letting go of our life, then we open ourselves to all sorts of possibilities to serve others and give God the glory in the process. 

Now that you are older, what advice would you give your 18 year old self? It’s never too late to apply these principles to your life.

Jesus As Our Shepherd

The 23rd Psalm has been a favorite among many believers for centuries.  Many of us the learned this passage when we were a child.  I remember quoting this verse as a young boy in public school as our daily prayer before class began. 

There is just something calming about this passage of Scripture that speaks to the longing of our soul to be connected with our Creator.  It’s not just a coincidence that David, a shepherd boy soon to become the greatest king Israel has even known, would pin this unique passage of Scripture.  His firsthand account of how a shepherd loves, cares and disciplines his sheep is a perfect picture of how the Good Shepherd (Jesus) loves and cares for us.

When you observe the 23rd Psalm from a shepherd’s point of view there is depth to the passage that ascends normal human understanding. It becomes a picture of our Savior’s unique but complete care of His children.  Each phrase tells of a different level of care and love that Jesus has for His children.

In this passage Jesus is the Shepherd and the sheep are His children. Because each phrase in this Psalm is packed with a unique truth I want touch on just a couple of phrases that are especially meaningful to me. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

 The Lord is my Shepherd”This speaks of the believers submission to God’s ownership, guidance and care.  Many want to claim Jesus as their Shepherd but they are far from full submission. They want to live their life without accountability to His will.   It’s like a sheep who keeps wandering off from the flock and starts grazing among poisonous weeds.  Or the sheep who wanders from the flock and becomes easy prey for the wolves and coyotes. A sheep on his own puts himself in danger that he doesn’t have the wisdom to foresee or discern.

The same is true in our life.  Anything but full submission to the Lord Jesus puts us in danger of  going down a road we never intended. Submission is not following certain rules or regulations but living in a state of daily dependence  upon the Savior for every aspect of our lives.  It’s having such confidence in the Good Shepherd’s care that whatever comes in our life we know  our Sovereign God is fully aware and in control, even though we may feel out of control. 

I shall not want”   This phrase is connected to the first phrase.  Because the Lord is my Shepherd then I live in a condition of wanting nothing.  It’s a phrase of contentment.  When we are utterly dependent upon Him for our provision, care and love then our life is complete.

  • He is our provision – ” And my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19)
  • He is our care – “Casting all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
  • We are the beneficiary of His unconditional love –  “For I am convinced that…nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

God’s plan of complete dependence upon Him allows us to find our contentment in Him, not in things, status, or acceptance by the culture.  We are to be so dependent upon Him that when loss occurs we know our Shepherd is in control and has our back.  We don’t crave or desire anything more.  It frees us from the trap that satan sets to ensnare us into believing that we need more to be truly happy and content.  As a follower of Jesus, contentment is truly the key to our happiness.

Bottom Line

Is the Lord Jesus truly the Shepherd of your life, or are you trying to live life in two worlds?  Can you say that you are content by resting in His love and care?

A partial surrender is not surrender at all.  A shepherd cannot care and protect a sheep who thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.  Without true contentment we will live a life of always needing more. 

 Our life has a destiny and it can only be found as we give our life in full surrender to His control and leadership.  As the Scripture declares, “He knows the plans He has for us.” (Jeremiah. 28:11)

Philip Keller in his classic book “A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23”  writes the following words: 

As I have moved among men and women from all strata of society as both a lay pastor and a scientist I have become increasingly aware of one thing.  It is the boss/master in peoples lives who makes the difference in their destiny.”

Who is the boss/master of your life?       

God’s Wrestling Match

“This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. (Genesis 32:24 NLT)

Jacob had been abundantly blessed by God.  He was materially prosperous and blessed with a large family.  His life was complete except for one thing.  He was estranged from his twin brother Esau.  

When their father Issac was near death Jacob deceived his blind father by posing as Esau and stole his brothers birthright. When Esau found out about his brother’s deception Jacob fled for his life.  Years had passed and now Jacob was attempting to reconnect with his brother.

As Jacob was preparing to meet with Esau he sent part of his family ahead and he stayed in camp all alone.  All of sudden, out of nowhere, a man appeared and began to physically wrestle with Jacob.  Jacob and this man wrestled all night long.  Just as dawn was beginning to appear the man realized he could not win and he touched Jacob in the hip socket and Jacob ceased his struggle. The Scripture records:

“When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket.” (Verse 25 NLT)

This story is a supernatural event which has application for us today.  There are at least three elements of the story that are key to understanding this passage.

1. First the man doing the wrestling with Jacob is none other than the Lord Jesus.  This is known as a Christophany.  A Christophany is an Old Testament appearance of the Lord Jesus. This is one of several recorded instances of Jesus appearing in the Old Testament. Notice what Jacob said about the man.

“Jacob named the place Peniel (which means “face of God”), for he said, “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared.” (Verse 30 NLT)

2. The wrestling match was about breaking Jacob’s self-will. Even though it was a physical wrestling match the real battle was about surrender of the will.  The passage says “When the man saw that he would not win the match he touched Jacob’s hip.“  If it was a typical match of strength all Jesus had to do was speak a word and Jacob would have been immobilized.   It was about Jacob being unwilling to let go of his stronghold of living as a liar and deceiver. 

3. When Jesus put his hip out of socket Jacob gave up the fight.  This was Jacob’s brokenness moment which led to his repentance.  His repentance from his deceptive ways changed his life.  He was never the same again.  To reflect this change in Jacob’s life God changed his name from Jacob ( liar, deceiver ) to Israel ( God fights).

“ Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!”  But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”  What is your name? the man asked. He replied, “Jacob”, the man told him, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, from now on you will be called Israel because you have fought with God and man and have won.”(Genesis 32:27-28 NLT)

Bottom Line

This story holds valuable instruction for us today.  God wants to deliver us from those things that keep us from being totally committed and fully obedient. There are at least three lessons we can learn from Jacobs wrestling match. 

Lesson 1: Strongholds are those things that keep us from living out our God given destiny.  Jacob’s birthright and destiny was to fulfill the promise given to Abraham of making a great nation. Jacob’s deception and lies kept him from fulfilling this destiny. His sin created a stronghold that caused him to miss God’s best for his life.  

We also have a destiny and our strongholds keep us from realizing God’s purpose for our life. What is it in your life that keeps you from a life of freedom? What has God been wrestling with you about?

God might strive and wrestle with us for a while but in the end it is our choice to stop struggling, surrender and trust God.

Lesson 2:  Notice that God had to injure Jacob in order to get his attention. If necessary, God would rather see us crushed rather than living  an un-surrendered life. Are we sure that our dreams and plans are congruent with God’s plan?

God loves us unconditionally, but sometimes He is not content with us as we are. If we keep wrestling with Him and holding on to something He wants us to surrender, then  He may have to bring us to the end of ourselves. He may bring us to a point that we have no place to run and no one to turn but to Him. 

He wants to change us into His image. Brokenness is often God’s method of getting us to the end of ourselves.  Jacob was running from his problems.  He knew he had to make it right with his brother or he would never enjoy God’s full favor or blessing.

Jacob was full of fear until he was tired of wrestling with God. He finally gave up, repented and put His trust, and his life, in God’s hand. That’s all that God ask of us, to surrender every aspect of our life to Him and then learn to trust him fully.  

Lesson 3: Sometimes the scars of our past is a good reminder that full surrender and abandonment is the best place to be.  I don’t know how long Jacob limped after that event, maybe till his death.  But I can imagine every time he had a hip pain it reminded him of the price he paid of doing life in his own strength.